Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
