Just cropdusted the office
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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