Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
