i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He? As in you personified your dick?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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