Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
