I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
