nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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