i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Boobs are out for the taking
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
