We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
