This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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