Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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