i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
