you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just invented taco cereal.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize