the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
