This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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