I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
