Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize