He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
