it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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