Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
