Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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