I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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