you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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