just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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