its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
