So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
