ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The ass gains better be worth it
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