I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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