How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
