Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
