News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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