do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
