Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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