When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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