we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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