before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize