she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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