I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
