Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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