I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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