If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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