i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
