I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
