Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
