Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
