I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
