wanna go halves on a baby?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
