I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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