No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
