A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
