it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
