I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
