what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
