I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
