I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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