she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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