Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
