ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
its not stalking. its research.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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