i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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