careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
