Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
