Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
