She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
