Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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