He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
