I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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