He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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